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Author Archives: Fighting My PTSD Demons
Tired…..
Hello dear blog… As usual, you get all the crap that goes through what substitutes as the excuse of my warped brain… I am sooooo tired, tired of everything, tired of my nonexistent life, or that’s at least how I … Continue reading
Posted in PTSD
Tagged Anxiety, Borderline, Depression, Flight or Fight response, Hyper vigilance, mental-health, Panic attacks
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Screaming in silence…
Dear diary, What do you write when you’re screaming on the inside? How do you get that emotion out in writing? How do you manage, when there is no one you can talk to, no one that you trust enough … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Depression, Hyper vigilance, Panic attacks, PTSD, Social Phobia, Trauma
Tagged Anxiety, Child abuse, Depression, Hyper vigilance, Lack of trust, mental-health, Panic attacks
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Not entirely human…
Well now… Ain’t that special!!?! Sitting over here quite amused… Finally have “proof” that I’m not entirely human… LAUGHING OUT LOUD! Let me introduce myself… I’m Cat and I’m a mutant… LOL Always knew there was a reason why I … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Feral Children, Formative years, General Anxiety Disorder, Hyper vigilance, Isolated Children, Panic attacks, PTSD, PTSD Support, Social Phobia, Trauma
Tagged anti depressant medications, medicine, mental-health, pain medications, PTSD, PTSD SUPPORT, Social phobia, Trauma
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Differnt day, neverending crap…
Ok WARNING, WARNING, WARNING… in dire need of venting, so if you can’t handle reading a PTSD crazed loon venting, cussing and other graphic descriptions… Go read some page about growing flowers or something else non traumatizing… Been a few … Continue reading
Posted in Adoption, Adoption gone wrong, Anxiety, Borderline, Child abuse, Child development, Depression, Feral Children, Formative years, GAD, General Anxiety Disorder, Hyper vigilance, Isolated Children, Panic attacks, PTSD, PTSD Support, Sexual Molestation, Social Phobia, Trauma
Tagged Anxiety, Child abuse, Feral Children, Flight or Fight response, Formative years, Hyper vigilance, incest, Isolated children, Lack of trust, pedophilia, PTSD, Social phobia
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BEWARE!!!! Lots of bitching and moaning…
OK, so today I feel the need to bitch and moan, so if you don’t want to read a bunch of complaining, I strongly advise you to skip this post and go on to another blogger which has a more … Continue reading
Never ending past…
When does the past become the past and something you can let go of both consciously as well as unconsciously? People you meet or know tell you: “Just get over it! There ain’t nothing you can do about it, so … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Child abuse, Depression, General Anxiety Disorder, Hyper vigilance, Panic attacks, PTSD, Social Phobia, Trauma
Tagged Anxiety, Child abuse, Hyper vigilance, Panic attacks, Social phobia, Trauma
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And life goes on…
How do you change the way you are, the person you have become, due to the experiences you’ve had since infancy, which have molded you into what you are today? People say, start by changing the way you think, the … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Child abuse, Child development, Hyper vigilance, PTSD, Social Phobia
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Current crap… Venting…
Today is NOT a good day for me… I am soooo tired. I am so tired of waking up every fucking morning crying like a freakin baby. Why am I crying? I have no clue… I’m just tired… Today I … Continue reading
Posted in PTSD
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Autism, Child abuse, child development, Depression, Flight or Fight response, Hyper vigilance, Lack of trust, Panic attacks, PTSD, rape, sexual abuse, Social phobia, Trauma
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Life as a phone ho…
Living in Miami Beach Florida in 2001, I found myself in the difficult position where I was over-qualified for most jobs I applied for. Having only Swedish job references was also a problem, as most employers were too lazy to … Continue reading
Posted in PTSD
Tagged Anxiety, chronic pain, Depression, General anxiety disorder, Hyper vigilance, Panic attacks, phone sex, prostitution, PTSD, Trauma
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What caused my PTSD to become full-blown…
What caused my PTSD to become full-blown and a condition that affects my everyday life was a “tummy tuck”, which is a routine surgical procedure, which went totally “south”… My surgeon had made several mistakes which he refused to take … Continue reading
Posted in PTSD
Tagged Anxiety, chronic pain, Depression, General anxiety disorder, Hyper vigilance, Panic attacks, PTSD, Surgery gone wrong, Trauma
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My Bitching…
So what does my life look like today?? Am I constantly bitching like I have in the posts I have previously written? Honestly? Yes and No… Of course I do some major bitching, especially here on my blog where I … Continue reading
Posted in PTSD
Tagged Anxiety, chronic pain, Depression, General anxiety disorder, Hyper vigilance, Panic attacks, PTSD, Trauma
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My first love…
I was 13 yrs. old first time I had “consensual sex” with my then (same age) x-boyfriend. He had broken up with me since I didn’t want to have sex. Not because I didn’t feel that I was old enough … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Child abuse, Child development, Panic attacks, PTSD, Sexual Molestation, Trauma
Tagged Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Child abuse, child development, Depression, Flight or Fight response, Formative years, Hyper vigilance, incest, Isolated children, Lack of trust, Panic attacks, pedophilia, PTSD, rape, sexual abuse, Social phobia, Trauma
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People you love
Make you sad… Hurt you over and over again… Use you… Demand that you drop everything when they tell you that they need help… Give you a guilty conscience when you can’t be there for them… Make you believe that … Continue reading
Who and what am I???
Who am I?? Where do I belong? Am I even human? I’ll honestly admit that most days, I don’t feel human… But then, most days I really don’t want to have anything to do with the human race… Of course, … Continue reading
Posted in Formative years, Hyper vigilance, PTSD, Social Phobia
Tagged Adoption, Adoption gone wrong, Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Child abuse, child development, Depression, Feral Children, Flight or Fight response, Formative years, GAD, General anxiety disorder, Hyper vigilance, Isolated children, Lack of trust, Panic attacks, PTSD, PTSD SUPPORT, Social phobia, Trauma
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A little bit more old and current crap…
Today is not a good day. Memories that I thought I’d buried deep keep surfacing and no amount of trying to push them down is working. I am so tired of constantly fighting myself. How do you get away from … Continue reading
Fighting My PTSD Demons 